There are no free lunches... especially if you belong to the so called 'fairer' sex...
Read the first line and brand me as a feminist.. But it doesn't affect me anymore.. Ask me why? Because since the day I have been born, I have just been branded. Branded as the first girl child, branded as not being perfect, branded as the not-so-bright-child, called fat, called too-modern-to-adjust,branded as the-girl-who-wouldn't-be-able-to-roll-round-rotis... and a whole lot more!
You are a girl. You live in a society where women are applauded mostly when they borne male kids. We all know that neither the father nor the mother can decide the baby's gender, but still all hail the mother if she has a baby boy. If a baby girl is born, just pat her back and tell her to pray next time for a baby boy. The same people who search a Convent Educated, fair, working girl as a wife for their son pray that their daughter-in-law bears a baby boy. And the difference doesn't end there. It lives with you throughout your life. In very less families, thank God and my parents for that, you see siblings treated equal. The kiddo and I always had divided duties. A difference of opinion was always resolved on basis of equality. But what happens when you start from a family like this and end up some where you are not treated as equal to the guys in your family.
Coming back to the free lunches. There are none! You have a penis and your mother would stay in the kitchen and cook your favourite lunch. She would even call your sister and/or wife to help. If you are a grown up girl, you'd yourself stand up to help your mother, but your brother won't. Because, your brother hasn't just been programmed that way. If you are married, love for your husband and the other male members needs to be shown by how and when you cook. One day you call out to your husband to stand in the kitchen and share the load and you are branded a bad wife. You will be told earning the salary you do after all the efforts is a waste as you do not feed your husband. He going out to a party is ok. You going to a party is not, coz then how and what would he eat. You go out grocery shopping and you are to come back and cook lunch. You won't get a free lunch. And God bless, if you have a sister-in-law in the house.. then you will be branded for eating out lunch she cooked, coz you didn't help. You'd be constantly reminded that you need to cook, if not for yourself, then for your husband. You will be told that you are a girl - yes I know, I do not forget it. And if you are a girl, you need to cook. You cannot get a free cooked lunch. No girl, you cannot!
So what do we do? Write big blog posts when frustrated with a heading which doesn't match the contents? No, we make a beginning - we start sharing the load with our husbands/ brothers... Ask me if this will work? No, it won't because the other women in your family won't be ready for this. They'd either be unhappy or they'd be jealous and you cannot change their thinking. So, stand for yourself and make sure your partner stands by you.
And if one day you don't wanna cook and your partner is tired too, go out and enjoy that yummy pasta at that Italian joint. They said there are no free lunches, but a cheesy pasta is worth every bit of your hard earned money!!
Read the first line and brand me as a feminist.. But it doesn't affect me anymore.. Ask me why? Because since the day I have been born, I have just been branded. Branded as the first girl child, branded as not being perfect, branded as the not-so-bright-child, called fat, called too-modern-to-adjust,branded as the-girl-who-wouldn't-be-able-to-roll-round-rotis... and a whole lot more!
You are a girl. You live in a society where women are applauded mostly when they borne male kids. We all know that neither the father nor the mother can decide the baby's gender, but still all hail the mother if she has a baby boy. If a baby girl is born, just pat her back and tell her to pray next time for a baby boy. The same people who search a Convent Educated, fair, working girl as a wife for their son pray that their daughter-in-law bears a baby boy. And the difference doesn't end there. It lives with you throughout your life. In very less families, thank God and my parents for that, you see siblings treated equal. The kiddo and I always had divided duties. A difference of opinion was always resolved on basis of equality. But what happens when you start from a family like this and end up some where you are not treated as equal to the guys in your family.
Coming back to the free lunches. There are none! You have a penis and your mother would stay in the kitchen and cook your favourite lunch. She would even call your sister and/or wife to help. If you are a grown up girl, you'd yourself stand up to help your mother, but your brother won't. Because, your brother hasn't just been programmed that way. If you are married, love for your husband and the other male members needs to be shown by how and when you cook. One day you call out to your husband to stand in the kitchen and share the load and you are branded a bad wife. You will be told earning the salary you do after all the efforts is a waste as you do not feed your husband. He going out to a party is ok. You going to a party is not, coz then how and what would he eat. You go out grocery shopping and you are to come back and cook lunch. You won't get a free lunch. And God bless, if you have a sister-in-law in the house.. then you will be branded for eating out lunch she cooked, coz you didn't help. You'd be constantly reminded that you need to cook, if not for yourself, then for your husband. You will be told that you are a girl - yes I know, I do not forget it. And if you are a girl, you need to cook. You cannot get a free cooked lunch. No girl, you cannot!
So what do we do? Write big blog posts when frustrated with a heading which doesn't match the contents? No, we make a beginning - we start sharing the load with our husbands/ brothers... Ask me if this will work? No, it won't because the other women in your family won't be ready for this. They'd either be unhappy or they'd be jealous and you cannot change their thinking. So, stand for yourself and make sure your partner stands by you.
And if one day you don't wanna cook and your partner is tired too, go out and enjoy that yummy pasta at that Italian joint. They said there are no free lunches, but a cheesy pasta is worth every bit of your hard earned money!!
Thank you for visiting my space! A well written post indeed 😊
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